The Great Randomness of Subway Surfers
by Chille Garnet
Summary: One day, while being very random, I came up with a random fanfic. Rated T for a.. reason.
1. Episode One

**You know what? I'm feeling random. And random people come up with random things. Feelz me?**

**xxx**

Lucy walks into the kitchen for something to drink. Out of no where, King comes out of the fridge, covered in ice cream and other food.

"King?" she asks. "What were you doing in the fridge?"

"I don't know anymore!" he shouts, running out of the kitchen and tripping over a carpet along the way.

**xxx**

Spike, Brody, and Prince K were sitting in the living room, doing nothing in particular. Then, Brody says, "Hey, Prince K. Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure," he said.

Brody gives him a pencil and a pencil sharpener. "Sharpen this pencil for me."

"I don't know how," Prince K exclaims.

"It's really easy. All you have to do is stick it in the hole and turn it."

"That's what she said," Spike said out loud.

**xxx**

Jake and Fresh were rapping old school songs.

_(I love it when you call me Big Pop-pa)_

_Throw your hands in the air, if youse a true player_

_(I love it when you call me Big Pop-pa)_

_To the honies gettin money playin niiiiii-_

Fresh glares at Jake.

"-iiiiiiiiiiigeria! I was gonna say Nigeria!"

"That's what I thought."

**xxx**

Tasha began recording. "Alright, go!"

Tricky rode her skateboard down the sidewalk and tried to do a 360. Instead, she ended up with a skateboard up her VJ. Tricky fell to the ground, rolling around and holding her hands around it.

"Damn, Tricky," Lucy said. "I can't tell if your either hurt or if you're just masturbating."

Tasha snickered.

**xxx**

Spike and Lucy were on top of a twenty foot building. He was trying to get her to jump off.

"I don't know about this, Spike. This jump looks pretty long."

"Come on, Lucy! You just gotta believe in yourself!" He jumped off the building. "You just gotta belieeeeeeee-!"

_SPLAT!_

Lucy turned around without even looking to see if he was alive. "Yeah, there is no way in hell I'm doing that."

**xxx**

Brody smirked at the camera and slowly opened the door behind him. Inside the room, Frizzy was watching herself twerk in the mirror. He recorded her until she caught him, and she swiftly turned around and chased after him. Brody ran away from her down the hallway and chanted, "I GOT HER ON CAMERA! I GOT HER ON CAMERA!"

**xxx**

King and Lucy were sitting on the couch, watching Dora the Explorer. Well, Lucy wasn't. She was too busy eating strawberry ice cream.

When the show was about to end, Dora asked, "What was your favorite part?"

Lucy said something before King could. "When you went under the bridge and sucked Boots' dick."

Dora smiled. "I liked that part, too."

King's eyes widened as Lucy burst out laughing.

**xxx**

Lucy had the camera this time. "Go."

Tricky and Tasha began singing to themselves in the mirror. "I came in like a wrecking ball-!"

Tasha fell backwards.

**xxx**

Prince K and Fresh were having a yo mama joke contest.

"Yo mama so fat, when she started doing the Nae Nae the ground shook," Fresh said.

"Yo mama so stupid, she went to a M&Ms factory and shouted out 'Skittles'," Prince K said.

"Yo mama so ugly, even King said damn," Fresh said.

Frizzy came in. "Both of y'all mamas so stupid, they thought their pussies were dicks."

"Damn!"

**xxx**

Lucy was sitting in front of the camera with a white dog beside her. They were nodding their heads to the music in the background.

**xxx**

Nick was sitting in front of the camera. "Ni ni ni ni ni nick nick nick! NICKELODEON-"

"SMACK CAM!" Spike smacked a handful of shaving cream on the side of Nick's face.

**xxx**

Where's Alex?

She's not in the hallway.

She's not in the bathroom.

She's. . . IN YOUR CLOSET!

**xxx**

Everyone was watching as Jake scratched a lottery ticket. He suddenly jumped up in happiness. "I WON A FREE CAR!"

Everybody did the Nae Nae.

**xxx**

Tasha was sleeping in her bed. Brody was sneaking around her room, looking for her phone. When he found it, she suddenly woke up and aimed a gun at his head. "Put the god damn phone down. Now."

**xxx**

Now Tricky had the camera. "Go, Lucy!"

Lucy tried to do a flip on a bike, but she fell off of it and landed on her butt. "Holy shit! I think I broke my ass!"

"Somebody call the police- I MEAN, the paramedics!" Tasha yells out.

**xxx**

Spike passed the football to Brody. Brody missed it and it hit the camera, closing out the scene.

**END.**

**Cameras used in this Episode:**

**K.I.N.G.**

**The Guys**

**Rap Studio C.A.M.**

**Two Blondes, One Multi-Color**

**Spike and Lucy**

**The Brody Camera**

**Black in Action**

**Lucille the Solo**

**The Tours**

**Cameras on Everyone**

**Tormenting Tasha**

**The Ending**

**Special thanks to:**

**My friend for reading it and laughing at it because it was so funny.**

_**With a great spiritual love,**_

_**~Ghost K.**_


	2. Episode Two

**Back with more random crap!**

**xxx**

Jake looks at the camera with a smile. "Guys, when you're feeling like the dumbest person in the world," he said, pulling a smiling Tricky next to him, "you gotta date a blonde girl."

Tricky's smile soon disappeared when she realized what he just said. "Wait, what?"

**xxx**

Frizzy was recording Kim while she was surfing in at the beach. "Surf board."

**xxx**

Spike and Lucy were in their room making out.

_**Camera Switch**_

Brody smirked and put his finger over his mouth as he slowly opened the door, careful not to catch their attention. Then, he pulled out his horn and blew it, scaring the crap out of both of them. He ran as fast as he could from Spike, but he caught him, and the camera dropped. All that could be seen was their legs and Brody's being lifted from the ground, abd what could be heard was the sounds of him choking.

_**Camera Switch**_

Lucy intertwined her hands and swiftly looked at the camera. "Well.. that was awkward."

**xxx**

Where's Alex?

She's not in the tress.

She's not on the benches.

She's. . . STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

Now you are die.

**xxx**

Prince K and Fresh were at the McDonalds, when suddenly, an Asian man walks upon them. "Ooh! Look, two black guy!"

"Ooh! Look, a Chinese guy!" Fresh and Prince K shouted.

**xxx**

Tricky, Lucy, and Tasha were at a party. Tricky and Tasha lost Lucy.

"Yo! Where did Lucy go?" Tasha asked.

Tricky looked around and saw her passed out on the dance floor. "There she is!"

**xxx**

Tasha started recording. She tried recreating what happened in the bathroom without hurting herself. "I came in like a wrecking ball-"

Spike passed by and sang in the same tone. "You suuuck dick."

**xxx**

Lucy was six years old when this happened.

She and her mom were at the library, when out of nowhere, she asks her a random question out loud.

"Mommy, what's a pornstar?"

**xxx**

Brody was sneaking up behind Tasha with the horn, but just when he was about to blow it, she turned around and aimed a gun at his head. "Do it. I dare you."

**xxx**

**Confession #1**

Frizzy sighed and looked teary eyed at the camera. "Guys, I'm sorry to tell you this, but. . . I'm a whore!" Then she began to cry.

Fresh and Prince K walked into her room, then swiftly turned around when they saw her crying.

**xxx**

Jake and Brody were playing COD Black Ops 2 online. Brody killed Jake with a shotgun.

"What the fuck, man?" Jake groaned.

Brody moved his character over to Jake's character's dead body and began to crouch up and down on his face. "T-bag!"

Brody got killed by some other player and they did the same thing. "T-bag!"

An Asian girl from across the world killed that player and did the same thing as well. "V-bag!"

**xxx**

"Spike, I'm pregnant."

Spike stared blankly at Tasha. "And you're telling me this why?"

"Because I was hoping you would tell Brody for me."

"If it's not my child, I want nothing to do with it," he stated, standing up and walking away.

"Damn it!" Tasha shouted. She looked at Lucy as she went into the kitchen. "Lucy, I'm pregnant."

"Um.. congratulations.. ?" she asked, walking out of the kitchen with a tub of strawberry ice cream.

"Shit!"

Prince K and Fresh came from the hallway laughing. They stopped when they saw Tasha begin to cry. "Sup with you, Tash?" Prince K asked her.

"I'm pregnant!"

"RUN!" Fresh shouted as they quickly headed out of the front door.

**xxx**

There was a small kiddie pool outside filled with water. Two seconds later, King ran and jumped into the pool. The pool busted open and the water soaked into the grass.

**xxx**

It was night time. Spike and Lucy were sitting by the railroads, admiring the stars while he smoke cigarettes and she drunk Margaritas.

"Do you know how much I love you?" he asked her after a while of silence.

"I can barely remember anything right now, Spike," she said with a hiccup.

He chuckled and put out his cigarette. "I'm pretty sure you can't. Let me remind you."

They heard a train coming towards them, and Lucy quickly moved out of the way. Spike refused.

"Dude, what are you doing? Move!" she warned him.

He shook his head, and instead of getting out of the train's way, he stood in the middle of the railroad and faced it head on, his arms crossed.

Lucy gasped. "Spike!"

He looked at her and smiled. "Lucy, this is how much I love you. I would get hit by a train if it meant spending one last day with you."

Tears began to trickle down her cheeks. "Spike.."

The train was coming closer, it's headlights almost blinding his eyes. Lucy saw that he was crying as well, the smile widening every second.

Just when it was about three feet away from him, the driver soon spotted him, and started pressing random buttons for the train to stop. It was only an inch away from his nose when it halted in front of him.

The driver opened the door and jumped out. "Oh my god! What were you doing in the middle of the railroad, son? You could've gotten killed!"

Spike stared at the driver. "You, my kind sir, are a pussy ass bitch. The train drivers in Grand Theft Auto Five are more bad ass than you."

Both the driver and Lucy widened their eyes.

**xxx**

"Hey. Prince K," Brody said.

"Yeah?" Prince asked.

"What does the outer space call it's private?"

"I don't know, what?"

"A Venus."

It took him a while to get the joke. "HAHA! Good one, Brody. Where did you get that from?"

Me! He got it from me! ©GhostKitty12, biatches!

**xxx**

Just like last time, King and Lucy were watching Dora, except Spike was with them this time. She had another tub of strawberry ice cream.

"Look! There's three paths!" Dora cried. "Can you listen for the chameleon?"

"Um, how about you stop being dumb and go around the fucking paths so you can find the stupid lizard or whatever?" Lucy asked her.

"Lucy. It's just a TV show," said Spike. "You know Dora the Explorer doesn't have any logic anyway, so why try?"

Lucy's face had obvious frustration. "Why does he still watch this shit anyway? He's thirteen years old, for god's sake!"

Spike sighed. "You know it's too late for King."

"I just hope our kids won't be like that."

"If you ever have any," King snapped. "Spike smokes so many cigarettes that his-"

Spike turned the TV up so Lucy wouldn't hear.

**xxx**

As Leeches Exit X-ray. Isaac Saw. Santa's T-shirt As Never Did In, Never Goes. Bitch Eels Hiding In Night Dark. You Owe Uranus.

Let's see if you can figure out what I'm saying in Mona Code.

**xxx**

Roberto was holding the camera as he played soccer. Just then, someone kicked a soccer ball into the camera, closing out the scene.

**END.**

**Cameras used in this episode:**

**A Leader's Wisdom**

**The Tours**

**Spike and Lucy**

**The Brody Cam**

**Black in Action**

**Two Blondes, One Multi-Color**

**Tormenting Tasha**

**Lucille the Solo**

**Frizzy's Confessions**

**The Guys**

**Tasha the Random**

**K.I.N.G.**

**Figure Out the Code**

**Special thanks to:**

**My friend (again) for reading it, laughing at it, and suggesting a few things I will probably use in episode three.**

**Review me. Plez.**

_**With a great spiritual love,**_

_**~Ghost K.**_


	3. Episode Three

**There will be times when an OC is being mentioned.**

**xxx**

Spike was at a vending machine at the subway station. He made sure no one was looking before he reached his hand into the machine and managed to grab a Snickers Bar.

But when King tried to do it, however, his arm got stuck in the slot. The vending machine fell on top of him when he tried to pull it out.

**xxx**

Jake was dressed as a fox. Tricky was recording him.

"What does the fox say?" she asked.

"Suck my dick," Jake retorted.

**xxx**

Brody was trying to get Tasha to eat a spoon of macaroni and cheese. "Come on, Tash! This stuff is delicious!" he claimed.

"No, this stuff is die-licious," the blonde replied, moving away from the spoon of food. "I hate macaroni."

When he tried forcing the spoon into her mouth, she pulled out a gun and aimed it at his head.

"Okay, okay, damn!" Brody quickly rid of the food by eating it himself. "What's with all the guns?"

**xxx**

_I like the way you grind on me.._

Frank was doing pushups.

**xxx**

"I'm a very cool person," King said to the camera.

"So you really think you're a cool person," Jake exclaimed, appearing out of nowhere while drinking a can of orange soda. "But do you know who's cooler than you?"

"No, who?" the young Subway Surfer asked.

Alex suddenly burst through the door wearing a pair of black shutter shades. "ALEXANDRA!" Then she ran over to King and punched him in the face.

**xxx**

Lucy ran up to Tasha with a knife. "Hey, ya wanna play catch the knife with me?"

"Sure!"

Tasha got shot in the head. Lucy looked at the gun in her other hand and sighed. "Man, I suck at this game!"

**xxx**

**WARNING.**

_**For the people who think the "N word" is offensive, I suggest you not read this one.**_

F is for friends who do stuff together.

U is for you and me.

N is for-

Prince K grabbed a random microphone. "Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nick-a!"

**xxx**

Tricky, Lucy, and Tasha were at the mall. Then Lucy noticed a red Russian hat on display at a store window and stopped to observe it. "Hey, do you guys know who that hat reminds me of?"

"Not really. Who?" asked Tasha.

"ALEXANDRA!"

"OH SHI-"

Alex, still wearing the black shutter shades, rode by them on a skateboard and punched Tasha in the face. Then she turned back around and ran over her unconscious body on purpose.

A mall cop was running after her. "Get back here!"

**xxx**

Alexis was walking down some random street while chewing on the white strings in her hoodie. Then, when passing by an alleyway, she heard a voice.

Since she was too lazy to take her medication that morning, she didn't have the common sense to keep walking but instead walking backwards to hear the voice again. "Approach me, child," it repeated in it's raspy tone.

Alexis walked into the alleyway, looked around, and pointed to herself and made sure that it was talking to her. "Are you talking to me?"

"Yes, child," it said. "Approach further, for you are the chosen one."

"Cool!" Alexis jogged towards the darkness in which the voice came from. She stopped and watched as a scrawny green finger pressed against her forehead. A jolt of electricity shot through her body.

"Go now, child. You currently posses the power of many pyrotechnics."

Alexis was riding on a scooter while trail blazing with her finger. "I am a pyrotechnic! Hear me roar!"

**xxx**

Tricky ran into the living room where Jake was watching TV. "Jake! I'm bleeding!"

He glanced at her and changed the channel. "Explain what we are talking about."

She groaned and pointed at her bloody nostrils. "My nose, Jake. We're talking about my nose!"

"Oh yeah? Well if it's your nose, stop yelling at me like it's your god damn vagina!" He threw the remote on the floor. "Shit, woman!"

**xxx**

Brody was running around with his shirt off. "I'M SEXY AND YOU KNOW IT!"

Tasha jumped into his arms. "HELL YEAH, I DO!"

**xxx**

Frizzy was walking down the street by herself. Jamie and Tony were across the street when they saw her.

"Damn! Look at Frizzy!" Tony yelled happily.

"That arse, though!" Jamie said.

"Jamie!" Frizzy shouted. "Remember your lines! Jesus Christ!"

"Cut!"

The director pushed Jamie out of the scene. "Someone bring in Jay!"

Jay was forced to stand where Jamie used to be. The director walked off. "Alright, action!"

Frizzy was walking down the street by herself. Jay and Tony were across the street when they saw her.

"Damn! Look at Frizzy!" Tony yelled happily.

Jay snapped his fingers and pointed at her. "That ass, though!"

The director laughed. "I love this guy!"

**xxx**

Everyone was at the skating rink.

"I'm the best roller-skater in the world!" Nick declared.

"Well, do you know who skates better than you?" Fresh asked while skating by.

"Of course I don't! Because no one can skate better than me!" When he noticed someone with a red Russian hat skating swiftly towards him, he screamed like a girl and turned around.

"ALEXANDRA!" Alex shoved into Nick and knocked him to the ground. Then she skated backwards and pulled out the middle finger while he stared back at her in horror.

When turning back around, she realized something. "Oops! Forgot my shutter shades!"

**xxx**

Spike took a box of frozen pizza out of the freezer. "This is how you make blonde girls and their boyfriends cry."

He walked up to Tasha and slapped the shit out of her with the box. "PUT THIS PIZZA IN THE OVEN!"

Tasha's lip quivered before she started to cry. Brody ran in and asked what the matter was.

Spike threw the pizza box on the floor and got in his face. "YOUR DUMB ASS GIRLFRIEND DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO COOK A PIZZA! THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG!"

Brody dropped to the ground and sobbed. "Do you have to rub it in?!"

He looked at the camera and smirked. "This video is very useful for those people who like to be a pain in the ass."

**xxx**

_**When they were kids...**_

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"I wanna be the *awesomest graffiti artist in the world!" Jake said.

"I wanna be a rockstar!" Spike jumped on top of the desk and played an invisible guitar note.

"I wanna be a punk with a nose ring!" Lucy shouted with her hands in the air.

"I wanna be a hoodie goddess and a tattooist!" Alexis stated.

"I wanna be a dumb blonde for no apparent reason!" Tasha yelled.

**xxx**

Prince K was recording Frizzy while she was twerking on the wall that was by the door. Fresh opened the door and hit her head.

"Oh shit!" Fresh helped her up. Prince K burst out laughing and turned off the camera.

**END.**

***And yes, I know 'awesomest' isn't a word.**

**List of Cameras used in this episode:**

**K.I.N.G.**

**Tricksta**

**Tormenting Tasha**

**WeiRd**

**The Tours**

**Two Blondes, One Multi-Color**

**Black in Action**

**Oh Cee**

**Those Moments**

**The Brody Cam**

**Spiked**

**Memories Back Then**

**Other Comments:**

**I didn't use any of my friend's ideas in this one cause I didn't want to. I'm also planning on making another fanfic for the deleted scenes.**

_**With a great spiritual love,**_

_**~Ghost K.**_


	4. Episode Four

"Old Spice! Take a look at what you've done!"

Sun was walking down the sidewalk with Alex while they talked about different kind of bears.

"You make sexy man right out of my son!"

Sun looked up at the tree in front of them and saw an old Chinese lady perched on a branch while she stared at them. "Mom?"

"Are you going to finish the song?" Alex asked her.

**THE GREAT RANDOMNESS OF SUBWAY SURFERS!**

**EPISODE 4**

**xxx**

Alexis was standing in front of a stairway. "I'm invincible!"

Lucy pushed her down the stairs. "Invincible now, bitch?"

**xxx**

Jamie walked up to Kim and tapped on her shoulder. She turned around with an eyebrow raised.

He pulled out a bouquet of flowers. "Kim, will you-?"

Tony did a backflip over Jamie, took a rose from the bouquet and set it in between his lips. Then he took Kim's hand and pulled her towards him. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Kim giggled. "Of course I will, Tony."

Tony walked off with Kim, their arms joined together. He looked back and winked at Jamie.

Jamie threw the rest of the bouquet on the ground. "Every bloody time!"

**xxx**

"Hey, Tasha." Brody smirked at her. "Did you know that if your hand is bigger than your face you have cancer?"

Tasha became curious and set her hand in front of her face. Brody facepalmed her and laughed. "Oh my god! I can't believe you actually fell for that!"

**xxx**

"Ugh. Spike won't text me back," Lucy complained.

"Let me see your phone," Alexis said.

Lucy handed her phone to Alexis. Alexis went through her messages, then handed it back to her. "He's at the store."

"What?" Lucy looked through her messages. "He never said that."

Alexis grabbed the remote off of the table and turned the TV on. "Reread the last text you sent to him."

She looked down at her phone.

**I just got off of my period.**

**~Lucy**

"Ohhh." Lucy got up and hid behind the couch. "If he knocks on the door, tell him I'm not here."

"No," Alexis said. "Wanna know why? Because I wanna record it when he rapes you."

Lucy growled at her. "I hate you."

"Mhm. Love you too, bestie." She changed the channel.

The Trojan condom brand commercial was on that channel, and as soon as she heard it, Lucy began to cry. Alexis burst out laughing.

**xxx**

Fresh set the camera in front of his face while he drove. "I'll show you how to start an old shool party."

He put a CD in his CD player and skipped a few songs to the old school song he had on it, Rebirth of Slick. He waited a few seconds until a whole bunch of people crowded around his car and started dancing.

"Now I'll show you how to piss an old school party off."

Fresh skipped to Dirty White Boy, and soon a fight of old school rap vs. "white music" began outside his car.

**xxx**

Spike walked in the living room and saw Prince K's weed sketch on the table. "What the.."

"JAKE!" He burst through his door. "JAKE! I FOUND PRINCE K'S WEED SKETCH ON THE TABLE AND I WANTED TO SNITCH ABOUT IT!"

Jake looked at him. "Okay. Write it down on the.. on the.. on the..." He passed out and knocked the beer can off of the table.

"TRICKY!" Spike knocked her door down. "TRICKY! JAKE WAS DRINKING DURING WO- what the hell."

Tricky and Brody pulled away from each other. "It's not what it looks like!"

"Jinx!" Brody shouted.

"TASHA!" Spike calmly opened the door to "Tasha's" room. "TASHA! BRODY WAS MAKING OUT WITH TRICKY!"

"Wrong room," Lucy told him.

"SORRY, BABE! MY BAD!" He walked out of Lucy's room, then went to Tasha's room, punched his hand through the door, unlocked it from the other side, and then opened it. "TASHA! BRODY WAS MAKING OUT WITH TRICKY!"

Tasha looked up at him. "I don't give a damn."

"OKAY! NEVERMIND!"

**xxx**

"Surprise, motherfucker."

"Chinese, motherfucker." Sun walked through the door.

"Some rice, motherfucker." Sun walked through the door with a bowl of rice.

"Small eyes, motherfu-" Sun bumped into the wall.

**xxx**

Prince K and Frizzy were lying out in the fields while they stared at the stars. "Can you imagine it, Frizzy?" he asked her. "Can you imagine a world without problems?"

"I can imagine a world with you shutting the hell up," Frizzy responded.

He took a deep breath. "Cool."

**xxx**

_**And now, the moment you've been waiting for...**_

**KOOKING WITH KING!**

***Applaud, bitch.***

"Hello there! Welcome to Kooking With King," he greeted. "First, we're going to start off by cooking a little favorite of mine: Pizza!"

As soon as he said it, the forgotten blonde OC that no one ever cared about back in _An Unusual Lovestory_, Tommy, walked upon the stage carrying a pre-cooked pan of a frozen pizza brand.

"Tommy! Smile!" the director whispered to him.

Tommy rolled his eyes and gave the camera the most goofy smile ever, just to piss off the director and King altogether. Then, to make it worse, he tripped over a stump on the stage accidentally and fell face first into the pizza pan.

The director facepalmed. "Cut."

**xxx**

"You're an ass," Spike told Tasha.

"Oh yeah?" She smirked at him. "Well, your mom is an ass for having a piece of shit like you." (LOL Get it?)

"But.. but my mom is dead."

Tasha widened her eyes. "Oh."

**xxx**

Lucy, Nick, Alexis, Spike, and Tony were at a store. When Nick, Alexis, and Tony asked for candy, Lucy said no, so they came up with an idea to trick her into buying the candy.

Tony used a microphone on one of the vacant cashier thingamajigs and spoke into it.

_**"Excuse me customers, but I would like to announce that the girl in the cereal isle, the one with the blue and redish hair, is giving out free packs of cigarettes. Thank you very much."**_

Lucy looked to both of her sides. Each side had skinny crackheads obviously wanting to get a pack of her "free cigarettes". They jumped on top of her and decided to stay there until they got their pack.

Spike came in and pulled them off. "Get off of my girlfriend, you assholes!"

Lucy looked at him and smiled. "Oh, Spike. You- wait, what are you doing? What the hell!"

He jumped on top of her. "If anyone is getting those free cigarettes, it should be me!"

A few seconds later, Nick and Alexis walked into the scene with a handful of candy and began to put it in the basket. But before they did, Spike stopped them.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "Didn't she say you couldn't have any candy?"

Alexis and Nick smirked at each other, then Alexis looked back at Spike, a way to compromise with him in mind. "What can we do to make this..." she waved her hand in front of her eyes. "Go all away?"

"Give me three Snickers," he whispered. "And throw in a pack of cigarettes for tricking me and the crackheads."

"You know what, nevermind! This is pretty radical for two bags of M&Ms!" Nick stepped towards the girl on the ground. "Lucy! Tony, Alexis and I came up with this clever idea to get candy, so we got Tony to-"

She looked up and glared at him.

"-aaand now it's back to the car. Got it."

Alexis, Nick, Tony, and Spike ended up in the car while Lucy shopped for groceries.

**xxx**

_When the lights are out and I'm in my bed..._

Frizzy opened her eyes and looked at her door that was mysteriously open. "What the hell? I could've sworn I closed-"

"Hey, Frizzy." Prince K walked in with nothing on but his boxers. "Like what you see?"

"Oh.. my.."

**xxx**

"Mina keeps texting me," Sun said, scrolling through the messages he got from the Korean.

"FDB," Alexis told him. "To the word."

"What does FDB mean?" Alex asked.

"Woah, you don't know what FDB means?" Sun looked up from his phone. "You've been missing out."

"Well, what does it mean? Fuck da bitch?"

Alexis and Sun burst out laughing.

**xxx**

"Hold on."

"BIAAAATCH!"

Fresh grabbed a microphone and smirked. "This yo favorite song."

**xxx**

You know what no one hasn't seen in this episode?

Alexandra mode.

Alex then bursts through my door. "ALEXANDRA!"

Shit.

I get punched in the face, and the camera gets punched in the screen.

**END.**

**I rushed. I fucking rushed. Because of the fact that I didn't update this in so long, I freaked out, and rushed. This is why this episode isn't so funny as usual.**

**I also deleted the camera list. No purpose.**

**Although, episode 5 might be funny. Depending on what I come up with. And shit, I'm so fucking tired... It's seven in central time, close to being eight...**

**Anyhow, see you later.**

_**Worshipped always,**_

_**~Hoodie Goddess**_

_**NOTE: If you read this before I put the x's in there, I apologize for that. Just not finding put that FFN doesn't let you put asterisks (*'s) in the center of the text. l:I**_


	5. Episode Five

**Credit to Harleena for some.**

"Hey! Edison! Come here, I have to tell you something!"

Edison began walking over to Carmen. Then, out of nowhere, Eddy ran up to him and pushed him in the pool.

"NO ONE CARES," he said while giving Carmen a high five, and both of them giving Jay one when he walked up to them.

**THE GREAT RANDOMNESS OF SUBWAY SURFERS!**

**EPISODE 5**

**xxx**

Sun and Alex were making out on the couch. Brody began to sneak up on them, the familiar horn in his hand. Before he could blow it, however, Sun pulled a long ass sword from behind his back and directed it towards his head, Alex surprisingly not noticing.

Brody gulped and slowly backed away from them.

**xxx**

Prince K had headphones in his ears and didn't notice everybody smirking and recording him in the background of his room.

"It was all a dream," he began.

"I used to eat ALMOST EVERYTHING"

"SALT N PEPPER AND EXTRA KETCHUP"

"ON MY CHICKEN WINGS!"

**xxx**

Fresh was playing his XBOX 360 with the controller upside down (tf) until Frizzy started to seductively crawl on him. He returned the mischievous smirk she gave her before slapping the shit out of her with the controller, knocking her out.

"I told yo ass not to distract me," he muttered while dragging her body away.

**xxx**

"Want some free cigarettes?" Alexis said while shaking a pack of Newports in her hand, smirking at the camera. Nick was wiggling his eyebrows in the background.

Alexis then walked up to Spike. "Hey, ya want some free cigarettes?"

Spike widened his eyes. "YES!" He launched himself at Alexis, who barely got away with a small "oh shit!". She ran and tossed the pack to Nick as they both made a run for it.

**xxx**

Sun and Alex were walking by a locked frozen lake in the Winter time. As they did so, Alex pointed towards the lake and exclaimed, "Look Sun, a duckie!"

He raised an eyebrow at her.

As she went over to hop the gate, Sun pulled her back. "No you can't."

"Yes I can!" she retorted.

"No you ca-" he began again, but was interrupted by his phone buzzing in his pocket.

"Yes I can!" she shouted again, then climbing over the gate and running on the ice.

"Duckie duckie duckie duckie-!"

_SPLASH!_

"Ooh shit!" Sun exclaimed at his phone, not paying any attention to his girlfriend who just fell through the fucking lake.

**xxx**

Tricky knocked on Lucy's door. "Lucy?" She paused, and then began to sing. "Do you wanna build a snowman?"

"Come on, let's go and play!"

"I never see you anymore"

"Come out the door"

"It's like you've gone away"

"We used to be best buddies"

"And now we're not"

"I wish you would tell me why!"

"Do you wanna build a snowman?"

"It doesn't have to be a snowman…"

There was no response.

Tricky opened the door and saw Spike and Lucy fucking.

**xxx**

Rosa was walking down the street with Roberto. "I'm so glad I finally get to be in this fanfi-"

"ALEXANDRA!"

Alex grabbed both of their heads and smashed them together, (not hard enough to kill them of course. I need all the characters I can get to replace Ediso-) then putting on her black shutter shades.

**xxx**

Alexis and Nick were still running from Spike.

**xxx**

"MY ANACONDA DON'T. MY ANACONDA DON'T-"

Kim pushed Frizzy out of the way, wearing nerd glasses. "MY ANACONDA DOES NOT WISH TO PARTAKE!"

**xxx**

Mina and Harumi were going through Sun's Facebook page.

"Okay, so none of his co-posts with Alex proves that she's pregnant. That means that I still have a chance!" Mina said, very excited.

"That doesn't mean she isn't," Harumi said. "She could be pregnant, but just hiding the truth from everybody, or maybe even Sun as well."

"Why the hell are you both worrying about me being pregnant?"

Mina and Harumi quickly turned around and saw the Russian dancer towering over them, her arms crossed and her eyes dark. She raised a brow as she awaited for her answer.

The two Asians had to admit: this bitch was scarier even if she wasn't in Alexandra Mode.

**xxx**

Tasha, Tricky, and Lucy were sitting in the car when a good song came on.

"I LIVE FOR THE APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE!" they all sang off key at the top of their lungs, dancing like weirdos in their seats.

Meanwhile, Jake and Brody were watching from a distance. Tricky was playing some kind of air guitar, Tasha was twerking on the back seat, and Lucy was grinding against the dashboard.

"What the fuck is wrong with those three…" Jake muttered.

**xxx**

"Fuck with us then we tweaking hoe-"

Kim pushed Prince K out of the way, still wearing the nerd glasses. "Mess with us then we fighting whore."

**xxx**

Tasha set up the camera. "Is this thing on? Okay, so I'm Tasha, and-"

"No one cares!" said Spike, running by and pushing the camera off its tripod.

*****ALTERNATE ENDING*****

Tasha set up the camera. "Is this thing on? Okay, so I'm Tasha, and-"

"ALEXANDRA!"

"NO-"

Alex grabbed Tasha and threw her on top of the camera.

**xxx**

Jake was randomly standing in the middle of the street when Brody walked up to him, dancing in some sort of weird way.

"Oh my god, what is wrong with your body?" Jake questioned.

"Hay boo, how you do?" Brody greeted, his voice sounding very auto-tuned.

"And what is wrong with your voice?!"

"There ain't nothing wrong with my voice, shawt-ayy," Brody replied, still dancing.

**xxx**

Nick was playing Five Nights at Freddy's.

"That wasn't even scary!" he said, turning off the computer.

As he did so, he thought he saw something in the reflection of the screen. He looked closer and immediately spotted a red Russian hat resting on his bed.

"...Shit."

**xxx**

"Her pussy bald like Caillou-"

Kim pushed Fresh out of the way. "My vagina shaved like Caillou. Fresh fresh like Caillou. I'm good negro, how you? Go back in the day like Caillou. Hat backwards like Caillou. I don't match like Caillou. My marijuana young like Caillou. Go idiotic like Caillou. I'm PBS like Caillou. DTF like Caillou. My vagina fresh like Caillou. I get wet like Caillou. The G's did it like Caillou. I did get like Caillou. I'm gonna go suck some D, need 30 minutes like Caillou. I'm up early like Caillou. I get dirty like Caillou. He ain't worthy I'm Caillou. I'm dirty like Caillou. I'm young as heck like Caillou. Don't fail like Caillou. I go for it like Caillou-"

Everybody stood behind Kim for the last line.

"FUCK DORA, CAILLOU!"

**END.**

**Again, thanks to the guest, Harleena, for some of the scenes! I finally got episode five in!**

**This will probably be put on hiatus due to my new story, Total Drama Tundra Island. I'll probably have to finish the whole season before another episode of TGROSS is uploaded.**

**Anyhow, until next time!**

**Mawhora~**


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